


A Hard Light to Ignite

by frankenberger



Series: Post-Human Interludes [2]
Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: 10k has a soul, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Consensual Sex, Kissing, M/M, Murphy really cares, Rimming, Season 3, This may or may not be a love story, i know that Murphy has nasty fingernails but let's just pretend that he doesn't, light cuddling, pls clip your nails before you shove your fingers inside someone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-05 07:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14612481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankenberger/pseuds/frankenberger
Summary: The first day that Thomas was back among his blends, Murphy kept his cool. He was full of smiles and praise, an innocent kind of affection that could easily be passed off as fatherly pride. If only the others had known how hard it was for him to keep his hands to himself, to refrain from claiming those lips, sucking bruises into that pale skin and making the young man moan and cry out beneath him. But Murphy had made a promise, and it was one he intended to keep.***Following on from the events of 'Wake Up and Face Me', set during S03E12 - The Siege of Murphytown.10k finds out that walking away from Murphy isn't quite as easy as he thought it would be.





	1. The Mission

**Author's Note:**

> I could have left the previous story as a stand-alone. But I couldn't resist.
> 
> Here I am again, ruining your favourite show with my passion for MurphyK smut. 
> 
> Still not sorry.

Murphy watched the young man as he made his way through the gates, with a fresh set of clothes and a gun slung over his shoulder. Thomas was a man on a mission, and that suited the both of them just fine.

The first day that Thomas was back among his blends, Murphy kept his cool. He was full of smiles and praise, an innocent kind of affection that could easily be passed off as fatherly pride. If only the others had known how hard it was for him to keep his hands to himself, to refrain from claiming those lips, sucking bruises into that pale skin and making the young man moan and cry out beneath him. But Murphy had made a promise, and it was one he intended to keep. 

On the second day, resentment grew quickly once it was clear that Thomas was reverting to his customary semi-catatonia, and the whisper of his thoughts became muted and dull. More zombie than human, more dead than alive. Perhaps selfishly, Murphy decided that he would never get anything useful done while the kid was moping about in his close proximity, so it was time for the mission. 

On the third day, Murphy clapped him on the back, and sent him on his way. So long, Thomas. Give 'em hell.

Thomas still had the note that Murphy had given him, crumpled and worn in his pocket. The message was simple and clear enough even for a muddled and cloudy brain to understand. _Find Warren. Bring her to me. If she won't come, kill her._

As Thomas vanished into the wilds of the less civilized parts of Spokane, Murphy watched him go. He didn't regret what had happened between them, and he wondered if he should. Sure, he had a drink or two before visiting the kid in his dank cell, but they both made a clear and conscious choice to escalate the situation. If Murphy closed his eyes he could conjure the taste of the other man's skin, the feel of his firmly muscled ass. The memories of their sweet violence together were a lingering torture, knowing that Thomas would never stand for a repeat performance. Not while Murphy still hummed inside his brain.

It was for the best that they spend some time apart, but he still hoped to see the kid again. Thomas receded into the distance, and Murphy sighed. He had an empire to build, and the throng of refugees outside his gates weren't going to vaccinate themselves. "Back to work," he muttered, realizing as he did that there was nobody else in the room. For a brief and wistful moment, he felt completely alone.

***

_During his time at the compound, 10k had successfully managed to avoid mentioning that Doc and Addy were on their way to find Murphy's daughter. He shuddered to think what his mission would have been if he had let it slip. He would rather die than hurt either of them, regardless of what Murphy wanted. This mission wasn't ideal, but it least it got him a few steps away from Murphy's influence._

_Halfway through midtown, 10k heard a commotion of laughing and shouting. He veered down an alleyway, moving swiftly and quietly toward the sound. It was a circle of men beside a truck. Some masked, all heavily armed. They were messing with a lone Z, pushing the creature back and forth as it stumbled between them, snapping and clawing. 10k set his pack down as he hid behind a dumpster, peering down the scope of his rifle at the gruesome game._

_They were members of the Red Hand, if the decapitated limbs adorning their vehicle were anything to go by. 10k had already seen the gang's handiwork in town. Two blends had wandered too far from the compound, and their mutilated bodies were propped against a wall signed with a flourish of spray-painted handprints. There was no justice in the actions of the Red Hand, only brutality. 10k wondered if it would be possible to take them all out before they started shooting back._

_Absentmindedly, he mimed one trigger-pull after another. Pew. Headshot. Pew. Right between the eyes. Pew. I give you mercy._

_10k stopped dead in the middle of his imaginary bloodbath, a chill running down his spine as a familiar face hovered in his sights. It was Warren, and she was clearly leading the group. Punctuating his shock, a single gunshot echoed as one of the men grappled the captive zombie and delivered it mercy._

_10k wasn't sure what drew her attention - some kind of noise, some involuntary movement - but Warren's gaze shifted in his direction. Before he knew it, she seemed to be staring down the scope right back at him._

_He ducked behind the dumpster, heart pounding. A couple of zombies shuffled past, paying him no attention as he tried to calm his breathing. Warren was pretty damn observant, but he still hoped that it was just a trick of perspective, and she hadn't actually clocked his presence. A quick glance out toward the road was promising. The truck was gone, and Warren with it._

_Conscious of his mission, 10k gathered his gear and dashed out of the alleyway. He had enough skill to track the vehicle from a safe distance, but first he needed to know the vague direction they were traveling in._

_He rounded the corner, and his senses screamed an alarm as a blurry shape approached him rapidly. He felt a brief flash of pain, and then there was nothing but the all-too familiar darkness._

***

Only a couple of hours had passed when the call came. Not in the form of words but a series of images, emotions. Distant but urgent, rising above the background noise of the compound and planting itself directly in Murphy's brain. The sound of water and the shadow of concrete pylons. The falls. Warren, and some unfamiliar friends. Fear. Pain.

It was Thomas, Murphy realized with a dash of panic. He was reaching out, broadcasting blindly through their shared wavelength. He was begging for help.

Murphy took a deep breath, his hands shaking from the burst of adrenaline. He set down the beaker full of vaccine in an effort not to drop the glass vessel, knowing even as he did that this batch would probably denature before he had a chance to get back to it. He had no choice. It was time to move.

A group of armed blends were waiting outside the building as he hustled down the stairs, alerted by Murphy's silent call. "Start the truck," he said. "We've got a party to crash."

It was a very brief drive to the lookout, and the men that Warren had left to stand guard were quick enough to dispatch. Hope, the earliest and most loyal of his Spokane blends, identified the corpses as members of the notorious Red Hand, and knelt to sever one man's right hand with a hunting knife. Murphy didn't begrudge her this grisly trophy. It didn't take long to get through the bone, and besides - this marauding gang had killed many good men in the Spokane surrounds. He was disappointed, though, to discover that the virtuous Lieutenant Warren was aligning herself with these monsters. Murphy took the bloody hand with him as they moved swiftly to the lookout. He had a plan, and he loved to make a dramatic entrance.

Thomas was lying defeated and helpless on his back, the weight of Warren holding him down. There were others there, people Murphy didn't know, but as Murphy saw the young man his focus narrowed to a point. Memories flashed through his mind. Shock collars and a forced private interlude at the hands of a crazed zombophile, straddling Thomas's body and leaning in to bite. And even more recently, the way he had held the kid down in a dark room and kissed him hard and bruising, overcome by his long-repressed need to taste him, to possess him. Seeing Thomas pinned like a bug by someone else triggered a red-tinged rage in Murphy, but he swallowed it down.

"Let me examine his blood," a woman was saying, in the midst of an argument. "I need a baseline. He's been bitten, injected by Dr Merch..."

"I'll do it myself," replied Warren, scrabbling in a nearby pack. Murphy saw the injector as she raised it, no doubt filled with the vaccine that could so easily break his bond with Thomas. There was a split second where Murphy could have made his presence known, where he could have stopped her. But he froze, telling himself he was giving his people more time to get into position.

Warren jabbed the injector into Thomas's leg, pushing the plunger with an audible hiss. The young man slumped, his eyes rolling back into his skull. Murphy shook himself from his stupor and did the only thing he could think of.

The severed hand of the guard landed on the wooden deck with a dull splat, and the confusion in Warren's eyes as she looked up was pure perfection.

"Thomas," Murphy said, hoping that the kid could hear him even through the twitching seizure that overcame his body, that it would somehow give him hope. "Your ride's here."


	2. Going Home

_10k had once been petrified that Warren would find out about the bite on his neck, that she would write him off as just another mindless slave. Subhuman, like the creature Cassandra had become. Doc had pleaded with him to tell Warren, to let the group protect him from the call of his blood. But he had been so afraid. It was a fear that had made him run away from his only friends in this apocalypse, that forced him to escape to the only certainty his blend brain could provide._

_Murphy would help him. Murphy would save him._

_Now, he was trapped in a place beyond protection. Propped against the metal railing as the sound of falling water enveloped and surrounded him. He could see Sun Mei out of the corner of his vision, and there was at least a measure of sympathy in her eyes. But Warren's expression made it clear - he was dead to her._

_There was a time when 10k would have seen this as a rescue, but it was hard to be optimistic while Warren was looking at him so coldly. He was glad, in a way, that Addy and Doc weren't here to see this. He couldn't have coped with seeing them turn away from him too._

_Hell, maybe he didn't want to be rescued by Warren. If freedom meant he had to join up with the Red Hand, maybe he preferred to be a slave._

_He reached out with all his strength, seeking the distant whisper of Murphy's mind through the expanse that separated them. Murphy would save him. He had to._

_"What am I gonna do with you?" Warren was asking him. "What are you? Cos you're not the boy I once knew."_

_10k struggled to keep his eyes open, crippled by a splitting headache from the blow that had left him unconscious._

_"Now, I can smell the difference in your blood, I can see the Murphy in your eyes." Her eyes narrowed with disgust as she continued, unmoved by the despair in 10k's expression. "What'd you do, run home and tell your savior I'm coming?"_

_10k cleared his throat. "He already knew."_

_When Warren hauled him up against the railing, lost in the fury of her interrogation, 10k's blind broadcast into the ether became a symphony of panic. She was yelling accusations, demanding answers, but 10k spoke no more. When she lifted her fist to smack him squarely on the jaw, he raised his eyes to the sky._

_A prayer, a supplication. Please, Murphy. Hurry._

_Warren knocked 10k to the ground and tore the note from his pocket. Hearing the words of his mission out loud from the lips of Sun Mei, shame blossomed through his fear. It was too late for apologies now, too late to beg forgiveness._

_Once upon a time, 10k would have seen this as a rescue._

_But, as Warren raised the injector and jabbed it into his thigh, he knew he didn't want it. Even more unsettling, he knew it wasn't Murphy's blood that told him so. The outside world was broken, and he didn't want to be part of it anymore._

_10k fell back against the splintered wooden boards of the deck as the icy cold electricity of the vaccine surged through his veins. A spiral of delirium overtook him, and when he hear the sound of Murphy's voice, he knew it couldn't be real._

_Murphy was a vision of salvation, a sweet delusion. The memory of Red had once offered him a solace, but this was something more. A promise of strength, of safety, of community. He could see the man so clearly, his immaculate suit, his shock of white hair. The patch of blue that obscured his pale cheek, a relic of his transitional state from zombie to god. "Get up, Thomas." He held out his black-gloved hand, and 10k half-expected for his own hand to pass right through. But it didn't._

_Murphy hauled 10k to his feet, ablaze with shock as he saw the damage that Warren had done. "Beating up on the kid, Warren? Really?" He was aghast. "Your new friends really are rubbing off on you."_

_10k focused on the feeling of those cool fingers against his face, the sympathy that emanated from the older man even though their bond was temporarily severed. Full of relief to know that this was real, that Murphy had heard his call. As Murphy's hand curled around his neck to usher him away, he knew what side he stood on. He knew he wouldn't run away._

_"Where you taking him?" Warren asked, almost as if she regretted having treated 10k so badly. But the damage was done._

_"Back where he belongs," Murphy responded, and 10k couldn't have agreed more. "To the future. A future without fear."_

_In this moment, 10k chose to let go of the shame for what he had become, for how he had betrayed the part of him that was still human. He was going home, and that was all he really cared about._

***

The compound was in chaos. Murphy had left for maybe twenty minutes, but even that seemed to have been too long. He glared balefully at the crudely drawn sign that flapped from the clock tower, exhorting him to be afraid. The man who had hung the sign was nothing to fear, being that he was currently a jumble of half-eaten body parts in the zombie moat. But still, who knew how many more were out there? Murphy slung an arm around Thomas's shoulders and ushered him toward the doors. The touch was probably more familiar than the kid would have liked, but he didn't flinch away. It was strange, but not entirely unwelcome.

As they entered the museum, Will Chaffin flagged down a group of blends. "I want two guards on the lab," he said. "Protecting Murphy is your priority."

"No," Murphy interjected, speaking over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs with his young protege. "Focus on securing the perimeter. Just like I told you. Accelerate the intake, and arm every new recruit."

"But Murphy," Chaffin faltered. "What about you?"

Murphy turned, glaring down at his over-eager lieutenant. "I want no interruptions. Thomas and I have some very important work to do."

"Of course." Chaffin glanced between Murphy and the young man uncertainly, but there was no suspicion in his eyes. "I'll make sure of it."

It was a blessed relief when Murphy could close the door to the laboratory, blocking out the frenzied industry of the compound. The only sound that broke the silence now was Thomas's breathing. Murphy shuddered involuntarily. "Take a load off, kid."

With an air of quiet nervousness, Thomas perched on the examination table and folded his hands in his lap in an exaggerated show of obedience. Murphy's control over him had waned, but he was too placid. Something had changed.

Murphy crouched beside Thomas, checking the cut on his forehead and gingerly testing the sore spot on his jaw. He had picked up some useful medical skills thanks to the late Dr Merch, but even he had to admit that his probing was somewhat less than clinical. 

"I think you'll live," he joked, his fingers pressing gently against the young man's cheek. "You did a good job out there."

Thomas cast his eyes down. "Did I, though? Seems like we're in for a fight."

"We got you back safe, that's all that matters." Murphy realised how hackneyed and sentimental it sounded, but he couldn't unsay it now. "I need you on my team, Thomas."

Thomas frowned, and slowly raised his head to make eye contact with Murphy. "Are you just gonna pretend you didn't see Warren give me the shot?" 

And there it was, like a big white splatter of birdshit on Murphy's windscreen. He chuckled deep in his throat as he straightened, pacing across the room. "Oh, I saw it," Murphy said. "But somehow, you're still here." 

Outside, the refugees were being hustled in through the gates. They rushed back and forth, retrieving prized possessions from the makeshift shacks and tents that made up their camp. From the window, Murphy saw the panic and fear in their faces. There was elation, too. Bubbling under the surface, a joy at being rescued from their purgatory. They could have run away from the coming battle, but they still clutched at Murphy's wearied promise of safety. They preferred to be inside with a gun than to be outside and afraid.

"Better the devil you know," Murphy muttered, catching his own scowling reflection in the glass.

"Get away from the window," Thomas said, his voice unsteady.

Murphy turned back to him, eyebrows raised in mock surprise. He wasn't stupid. He knew that the kid was only here because Warren had broken his trust, because he was ashamed of having broken hers.

"The Red Hand got in once, they could do it again. I'm not the only shooter in town."

Murphy smiled, cocking his head to the side. He didn't take a single step away from the window, preferring to watch the other man squirm. "Are you actually concerned for my safety? I'm touched."

"Murphy..." Thomas sighed. He looked truly uncomfortable.

"Okay." Murphy stepped towards him, back to relative safety. "But you have to talk to me. Not that I don't appreciate the new and improved attitude."

Thomas took a few moments to collect his thoughts. "I just want things to go back to the way they were before," he said finally, as if it were some kind of explanation.

Murphy paused, keeping what he hoped was a respectful distance. "No going back from the apocalypse, kid."

"It's not even that. It's just-" Thomas bit his lip, eyes welling with moisture. He looked so young in this moment, so precious. "We traveled so far together, we went through so much. But when I looked in Warren's eyes, I saw none of that. When she looked at me, all she saw was a nuisance. All she saw was you."

Murphy was taken aback by the emotion in the young man's voice. "That makes you sad."

Thomas looked him straight in the eye. "I don't know. It scares me. If Warren can change just like that, if she can become such a completely different person? Nothing is safe." Thomas took a deep breath, blinking rapidly. "I want to feel safe, Murphy. It sounds stupid, I know. But-"

Murphy closed the distance, wanting nothing more than to comfort Thomas, knowing that he couldn't. "Hey, no. It doesn't." His voice was soft, his facade crumbling. He was less than an arm's length from the kid now, close enough to touch. "Thomas, I promise you..."

"Stop," Thomas replied. "I know we're not safe here. Not really. Don't make promises you can't keep."

"My track record may not be perfect," Murphy conceded.

Thomas nodded, a bitter smile teasing at the edges of his lips. Something was whirring inside that head of his, some unexpected machination. He lifted his hands, pulling the goggles from his head and setting them on the table beside him. It only made him look so much more vulnerable, his dark hair sticking up in boyish cowlicks. "Do you remember the last promise you made to me?"

Murphy furrowed his brow. How could he ever forget? It was the promise that kept his hands by his sides, his body twitching with the effort of self-control. It was the promise that had kept him up at night, pining for something he had tasted but would never devour.

Moving slowly in the silence, Thomas climbed from the examination table to stand face to face with Murphy. His breath tickled against the older man's cheek. His eyes were wide, still glimmering with the moisture of tears not yet shed. "Maybe," he said, as the tension between them seemed just about ready to snap. "Just maybe, I don't really want you to keep that promise."

Thomas moved first, taking a step forward. They would have been pressed against one another, had Murphy not gripped him by both shoulders in a desperate effort to stop the young man's advances. "Wait," he exerted his will in an effort to command, before things went too far. Before he had anything to regret.

"No," Thomas replied, without even faltering. Murphy couldn't control him, and he wanted it to be clear. "I don't have time to wait, and neither do you." He reached out with both arms and grasped Murphy by the waist, dragging their bodies together. 

And then Thomas kissed him. Gently and reverently, tilting his head to the side as his mouth opened in invitation, as they melted into one another's embrace. He was so soft and so warm that Murphy relented.

The dam had broken. Murphy knew, as he surrendered to the kiss, that he was lost. Body and soul. 

A man named 10k owned him now, and there was no going back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh. Maybe this is a love story after all. Damn you, sentimental brain.
> 
> From here on out, all roads lead to smut. Kudos and comments of all types are welcome. Let me know what you think. :)


	3. Consummation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say smut?

There were too many layers of fabric between Murphy's skin and 10k's searching hands, and it was something he seemed eager to remedy. The coat went first, torn from his shoulders and tossed to the ground with so little care that Murphy couldn't help but make a tiny noise of displeasure. The young man swallowed his protest with a clumsy meeting of mouths, his teeth grazing across the swell of Murphy's lower lip. 

He was already tugging at the knot of the tie as they kissed, the strip of silk tightening around Murphy's throat with his fumbling. Murphy felt lightheaded and batted the kid's hands away so he could loosen the knot before he passed out. "If this is some kind of assassination attempt, you're going the right way about it." He chuckled, gazing darkly into 10k's eyes as the tie joined his coat on the floor.

The kid lunged toward him again, needy and impatient. "Hey," Murphy murmured, tossing his head to the side as he trailed his fingers down 10k's back. As much as he wanted to get down to business right away, he had a perfectly good bedroom just down the hall. "I've got an idea."

Outside the laboratory, Murphy head the sound of footsteps and quiet conversation as a group of blends passed by. His hands clutched at 10k's ass, causing him to gasp with surprise. Jesus, the kid was usually so quiet. If he was going to cause this kind of ruckus, they definitely needed a change of scenery.

"I think they're gone," Murphy said, planting a quick peck on the other man's lips. "Come with me."

They hurried down the hallway hand in hand, like a couple of lovesick teenagers. The kid had sweaty palms, and he twitched with anticipation as Murphy nudged the door shut behind them. Glancing at the large bed strewn with blankets and furs and surrounded with the scent of Murphy, he seemed to lose his initiative. "Now what?"

Murphy laughed, ushering 10k toward the bed. "I thought you had that all figured out, 10k." He was amused at the shift of power between them. "Strip."

10k gave him a sour look, even though he was already shrugging his jacket from his shoulders. "Is that all I'm gonna get from you?"

"Oh, you're gonna get a whole lot more from me than you expect, sweet cheeks." Murphy gave him a wink, but 10k didn't seem impressed. He tried again. "You said yourself that we don't have the luxury of time here. And I wanna look at you while I have the chance. All of you."

10k lost the hoodie and the t-shirt, but his face was dour. Had they come so far, just for the kid to give up as soon as he realized what he had signed up for? Despite everything, Murphy was still Murphy.

"Fine," Murphy said. "My turn, then." He planted a gloved hand in the center of 10k's bare chest and pushed him backwards. His knees buckled as he hit the bed and sprawled there half-naked, breathing heavily.

Murphy shucked his gloves, feeling the young man's eyes on him. "You're still such an asshole," 10k offered, as Murphy divested himself of his vest.

"And you're so pretty when you're angry," Murphy replied, his voice muffled as he lifted his shirt over his head. He knew that the blue patches on his chest only served to emphasize the pale sheen of his skin, illuminating the twisted network of scars across his torso. He knew that 10k was staring at him, imagining the agony of his rebirth. This would have bothered Murphy once, but there was something so enticing about it now, to have someone see him with such clarity. 

10k stripped down to his briefs, his eyes full of hunger. He was back in the game, it seemed. "Lose the pants," he said, aiming for the casual sleaze of Murphy's tone and matching it fairly well. "And come over here."

Murphy obliged, and lowered himself to the bed. Sliding up 10k's sweat-beaded body, savoring the friction of skin against skin. 10k rose up to meet him, knees pinned between Murphy's legs. He wrapped his arms around Murphy's back, trailing kisses up his collarbone. As Murphy reached between them to cup 10k's cotton-clad cock, the kid muttered something incoherent into his shoulder, lips buzzing against the skin.

"What was that?" Murphy asked slyly, tracing the straining heat of the young man's erection through his damp underwear. "Use your words, 10k."

10k looked up at him, his lips swollen and red, desperation in his dark-shadowed eyes. "I said, fuck me."

Murphy thought about feigning shock at 10k's filthy mouth, but they were past joking by now. And god, this was all he wanted. "Have you ever..."

10k whined as Murphy's hand delved into his briefs, swiping precome from the head of his cock to lubricate the slide of his hand down the velvety length. "Would you stop if I said no?"

Murphy blinked. "Probably not."

That was a good enough answer for 10k, and he lowered himself back against the bed. "Well, then. No. I've never."

Murphy felt a lump in his throat. Contrary to popular opinion, he hadn't been a Casanova in the years leading up to the apocalypse. Prison, surprisingly, wasn't the pick-up joint people made it out to be. And, aside from one pie-fueled tryst in a roadside tent following the end of the world, he'd been through a pretty long dry spell.

10k began breathing in staccato bursts as Murphy continued the gentle rhythm on his cock, and this effectively snapped the older man from his reflections. It had been a while, but it was just like riding a bicycle. A slim and pale bicycle with well-defined abs and just a dusting of hair on his chest, with big liquid eyes and lips that tasted of salt and sweet all at once. The metaphor fell apart, but Murphy was hardly in the state to be coherent. All his blood had rushed to his groin and he was so incredibly hard.

"Come on, Murphy." 10k said, the words issuing from his lips like a drawn-out moan. He looked so wrecked already, and they had barely started.

"Whatever you want," Murphy said with a lust-darkened voice, as he reached to yank down 10k's underwear with his free hand. 

***

_10k clutched at the soft nap of the fur that lay underneath his body, lost in sensation. His head lolled back against the bed, his hips elevated with the help of a pillow. Murphy's head was buried between his wide-spread legs, teasing at his sensitive rim with rough swipes of his tongue. It was strange and unnervingly intimate, but it felt so good once he became accustomed to it. Murphy gave a grunt of satisfaction as 10k writhed on the bed, clearly turned on by the reaction._

_10k was so wet with saliva that when Murphy slipped a finger inside him it was barely uncomfortable. All the same, it was unexpected enough to cause him to buck his hips upward and cry out. "Relax, kid." Murphy said mildly, as 10k clenched involuntarily around the intruding digit. "You're gonna love this."_

_Sure enough, once 10k made the effort to relax, the pleasure began to build. Murphy watched him intently, pressing against the circle of muscle and gently stretching. Murphy seemed happy enough to continue this slow and patient assault on 10k's senses, taking his time before adding another finger. He searched along the upper wall of 10k's passage and pressed firmly when he found what he was looking for, smiling when the young man reacted with a long, shuddering exhalation._

_Murphy withdrew his fingers, sinking back on his knees to wet his palm with saliva and wrap it around his heavy shaft, pulling with a slight twisting motion as he readied himself. He made a noise deep in his throat as 10k reached down to touch himself, matching the older man's rhythm with steady strokes. 10k felt so exposed, spread out on the bed like this. But he had to admit, he liked it. Murphy wanted him, needed him. There was nothing quite so erotic as knowing he could affect someone else in this way._

_10k was ready for more, and Murphy knew it._

_Murphy gripped the back of the young man's thighs, lifting his ass in the air. He kept his eyes locked on 10k's face as he moved into position, guiding himself with one careful hand until the spit-slick head of his cock nudged against 10k's well-prepared opening. "Relax," he reminded the young man, and 10k felt a firm and insistent pressure as Murphy slowly breached him._

_"Oh," 10k sighed, mesmerized by the exquisite stretch. He focused on his breathing, inhaling and exhaling deeply to overcome the slight sting of Murphy's entry. He had no real experience to judge from, but Murphy's cock felt so big, so throbbing and hot._

_Murphy stilled, allowing the young man to adjust. His glance was questioning, and although 10k barely felt able to form words, he managed to nod. "Good," he muttered. "I'm good."_

_With infinite slowness, Murphy began to go deeper. His expression was rigid with concentration as he slid inside a fraction of an inch at a time, pulling back and pushing forward with the slightest movement of his hips. In this position, 10k felt every tiny motion. Every brush of Murphy against that sensitive spot inside him._

_"I always hoped I'd get the chance to see you like this," Murphy said, his words punctuated by small involuntary noises from 10k as the speed of his shallow thrusts began to escalate._

_"Unh," observed 10k. "I, uh... Fuck." Heat was pooling in his groin and his erection slapped against his belly, desperate for attention. Murphy was pistoning relentlessly into him by now, bending him nearly double to capture his lips in a hungry kiss. The muscles of 10k's thighs began to cramp from this rough treatment, but the discomfort only added to the intensity._

_Murphy's jaw slackened as he buried himself to the hilt, but he wasn't anywhere close to finishing. His breathing was ragged as he tried to keep up the speed. 10k dug his fingers into the meat of Murphy's hips to goad him onward, but his strength was flagging._

_"Let me," 10k whispered, hissing as Murphy withdrew carefully. With all the stamina of youth that Murphy clearly lacked, he pushed the older man onto his back and straddled him, sinking down onto his throbbing length._

_Now, this was good. 10k moved slowly at first, still getting used to the feeling of being penetrated. It wasn't long before he recognized the power of this position, the way Murphy's face changed as he added a slight roll of his hips or tilted his pelvis just right. Judging from Murphy's expression he was getting close to the precipice, and 10k wanted to jump off right beside him._

_10k grasped his own cock and started to jerk off with clumsy strokes. He couldn't manage much precision, but it wasn't really needed at this point. "I think I'm going to..."_

_"Not yet," Murphy said. "Hold on." He grabbed at 10k to coax him forward, wrapping his hands around the young man's back as their sweaty bodies folded together. Gritting his teeth, he began to thrust with abandon, and 10k couldn't do anything but hold on for the ride. He heard a high whining noise, and realized that it was coming from him. He was falling apart, and there was nothing Murphy could do to stop him._

_As sudden as a gunshot and without warning, 10k hit his shuddering climax. Panting and oversensitive, he cried out as Murphy continued to fuck him, chasing his own release. "Murphy, I can't." He whimpered. "Please."_

_Murphy seemed not to hear him, his face contorted with effort. Thankfully, it was only a few moments before slammed himself deeply inside 10k and grunted has he came. He held the young man in a death grip, his entire body tensing with the force of his orgasm._

_And then, it was over._

_10k slumped onto his side, disengaging from Murphy with difficulty. He felt sore and sticky, and he could feel the warm trickle of Murphy's spend down his thighs. It wasn't a bad feeling, just different._

_Murphy's eyes were closed. God, was he asleep already? 10k felt a momentary twinge of annoyance, but then Murphy made a noise and reached for him. As satisfying as it would have been to get up and leave the other man alone and naked on the bed with semen drying on his belly, 10k curled up by his side and let Murphy wrap an arm around his body._

_Murphy made a satisfied noise and nuzzled into 10k's hair, and the young man realized just how tired he was. He knew, deep down, that they had no time to sleep. But his body felt so heavy, and Murphy was so uncharacteristically warm._

_Maybe just a quick nap would be okay. And maybe, if they managed to recharge, they'd have time for another round before the coming attack._

_10k closed his eyes, and together they slept._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bam.
> 
> This chapter took me a little longer to write (as porn often does, for me) but I hope you liked it.
> 
> Happy that they get the chance for a brief nap after such a workout. Things might get a little rocky from here on out.
> 
> ps. sorry for any mistakes. It's a bit late here, and although I've read through it a number of times some errors always manage to make their way through.


	4. Awakening

The afternoon sun was soft against his cheek, coaxing him gently back into consciousness. He awoke slowly, too warm and comfortable to readily let go of sleep. Long limbs were wrapped around his body, and someone’s head was nestled against his chest. Breathing deeply, still lost in slumber. As Murphy opened his eyes it was a moment before his sleep-fogged brain filled in the blanks, before he could truly appreciate the way that 10k clung to him as if he were an overgrown teddy bear. 

The kid sighed as Murphy ran his fingers through the tousled spikes of his hair, overcome by a burst of affection. This was so perfect, so peaceful. Murphy wished they could stay here forever, but he knew that things would change as soon as 10k woke and came to his senses.

That time came too soon. 10k’s body stiffened suddenly, and he cleared his throat. Lifting his head from Murphy’s chest, he looked both confused and ashamed. “Hey,” he said. He looked like he was trying to figure out the best way to extricate himself from the embrace with his dignity intact.

“Hey, 10k.” Murphy replied, feigning nonchalance, even though they were both naked and well past the point of small talk. “How are you?” Murphy listened hard, but he still couldn’t detect the whisper of the young man’s mind. He was still under the influence of the vaccine, despite their frenzied fluid exchange. 

“Okay.” 10k replied, rolling over onto the bed. Murphy ogled him openly, storing away the images for later use. Of course, he hoped that this had been a turning point in their relationship, but reality often had a way of screwing up the best laid plans. This might be his last chance to enjoy this view. “I mean,” 10k continued. “That was - I’m glad that it happened. I’m not…”

“Mm-hmm.” Murphy agreed as he reached out to cup the young man’s face, to turn his attention away from the ceiling. 

10k narrowed his eyes, seemingly amused. “10k.” He gave a lopsided smirk. “You’ve been calling me 10k.”

“Have I?” Murphy responded. To be honest, he hadn’t even noticed.

“Yeah, for a while now.” 10k’s voice was soft. “That’s interesting.”

“Well, my mind’s been elsewhere.” Murphy allowed his gaze to roam down the other man’s naked body again. The slight flush of pinkness up his collarbones, the sheen of sweat on his skin. His cock, nestled in a soft tangle of pubic hair. 

10k made a derisive noise. “Jesus, Murphy. One minute I think you’ve changed, and the next…”

“Thomas,” Murphy began, but this only annoyed the kid further. “I was trying to give your name back to you. A real identity, not just an expression of bullshit teenage bravado.”

10k snorted, levering himself up from the bed. “Hey Alvin,” he said pointedly. “Fuck you.”

Murphy snorted, even though his tone was still mild. “Look, I’m not going to apologise for caring about you.”

10k’s expression grew dark. “Don’t even try that. You sent me out to capture Warren, or kill her. Because you care?”

The accusation hit home. Murphy didn’t often regret his choices, but even he had to admit that his justifications were flimsy and perhaps a bit selfish. “I knew she wouldn’t hurt you,” he said, even though it wouldn’t help his case. It was true, to a certain extent. He had gambled on Warren still caring enough for the kid, but he had known that there was still a measure of danger in letting 10k go out hunting by himself. There were worse things out there than Warren, after all. 

10k raised his eyebrows. He reached up to touch the cut on his forehead, wincing as his fingers made contact with the still-oozing wound.

“I -thought- she wouldn’t hurt you,” Murphy recanted. “And believe me, she’s going to wish that she hadn’t.”

10k looked thoughtful, unsure. “I was just starting to be sad that this is all over, but now I feel a whole lot better about it.”

Murphy winced at the harshness. “Come on, kid. I don’t wanna fight with you.”

10k got up, retrieving his underwear from the tangle of clothes beside the bed. “Of course, this is all about what you want.”

“I seem to recall that you were the one who started this.” Murphy raised himself on his elbows, watching as 10k awkwardly tried to shuffle back into his skinny jeans. “At least I can admit what I want.”

10k paused and gave him a pained look, running his fingers through his hair. “Maybe I’m not sure yet,” he said. “Maybe this is something I’m going to have to think about.” He reached down and grabbed the bundle of Murphy’s discarded clothing, tossing them at the naked man on the bed. “But Warren is coming with her new friends, and based on recent experience she doesn’t give a damn about what you want. Or what I want.”

Murphy nodded, knowing that he had to let it go. At least an hour had passed since they returned to the compound, and the blends were dashing around outside getting them battle-ready. It wasn’t really the time for this kind of discussion. “Fair point,” he said, as he got up to dress. “But this wasn’t a mistake, was it?”

The kid didn’t reply. Murphy pulled on his pants and buttoned his shirt with his back turned, wishing he hadn’t asked. He didn’t want to hear the words that seemed to be so hard to say. The silence grew as 10k finished dressing, but the young man didn’t leave. Why wasn’t he leaving?

Murphy almost jumped as the hand landed on his shoulder, fingers stroking gently down his bicep. He turned around, shakily. The young man’s expression was sad, his dark-ringed eyes large and liquid. “No,” 10k replied. “I don’t think it was a mistake. Just, you know. Bad timing.”

Murphy exhaled heavily. He wasn’t sure whether he should be relieved, or if this was just another rejection. “I’d like to hope that that there’ll be a better time.”

10k smiled thinly. “Promise me we’ll get through this, Murphy.”

“All I want is for you to be safe,” Murphy responded, before realising how true the statement was. It seemed too raw, too much like a declaration of an emotion that would only complicate things. “All of you,” he concluded, lamely.

10k reached out to cup Murphy’s cheek in his palm. “I really want to believe you,” he said, and he leant in for a kiss. It was sweet, if a little sad. But there was promise in it. 

Stepping back, 10k ran his fingertips absently across his lips. “Here’s hoping for a better time.” He said.

***

_“Hey! I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding!”_

_The old fool was out there, waving his hands in the air as if the Red Hand shooter could give a damn that he was unarmed._

_“Auerbach!” 10k shouted after him. There was a chance, a slim chance, that the blend could get back to the safety of the concrete pillar before he was shot. But he wasn’t paying attention. 10k knew this wasn’t going to end well._

_Another day, another mission. 10k would have been more comfortable to stay and defend the compound with the other blends, but Murphy wanted him to escort Auerbach to the power station, and Murphy always got what he wanted._

_“Mr Murphy tasked me with the maintenance and operation of this power station.” Auerbach said, to the unseen shooter. Training his pistol as best he could, 10k trained his pistol toward the corner of the power station and hoped for a clear shot before the encroaching zombies took him out from the rear._

_It didn’t come. Halfway through his boasting declaration that he had been the one to restore the power, Auerbach took a hit to the chest. As he gaped in disbelief, a second shot got him right between the eyes._

_Catching a glimpse of the Red Hand in the shadow of the power station, 10k emerged from cover and mercied the camouflage-clad hostile with a single shot. He was only exposed for a second, but another shooter was waiting for him. 10k felt a sting in his shoulder as the bullet winged him, and he ducked back behind the pillar, wincing with pain._

_Trapped between a Red Hand sniper and a throng of puppies and kittens, 10k found himself wishing that Warren hadn’t dosed him up with vaccine. Sure, he treasured the brief time he had spent in control of his own mind. Not that he would admit it readily, but the time he had spent in bed with Murphy was also pretty good compensation for the inconvenience._

_Still, If he died right now at the hands of the Red Hand or the grabby claws of a dead guy, would it have been worth it? It was a little deflating to realise that the pinnacle of his life’s achievements was getting it on with a half-zombie hybrid twice his age, with bad teeth and a messiah complex._

_The zombies came slowly toward him, their arms outstretched. 10k was mesmerised by their slow shamble, the mindless hunger that drew them toward him. There was still a chance to get away, however slim. If he ducked around the pillar, he could try to make a dash along the riverside, away from the power station. He would be in the shooter’s sights, but he far preferred to be a fast-moving target than an easy meal for his undead fan club._

_With a sudden decisive burst of energy, 10k dragged himself to his feet and bolted, charging straight into a zombie in a battered red pullover who had approached along the very path he was hoping to take. Its noise had been masked by the throng of zombies on the bridge, and 10k was caught by surprise. The zombie gripped 10k by the shoulders of his leather jacket, snarling and snapping as they struggled. Hauled against the concrete pillar, 10k fought to keep his assailant at arm’s length, overwhelmed by fear and the stench of rot._

_As he struggled, 10k wished he could reach out to Murphy, send him a message. Not for help. It was too late for that. It was a lonely feeling, knowing that he was going to be torn apart by a half dozen zombies in spitting distance from the compound._

_He remembered the way Murphy had smelled, sandalwood and a hint of cologne. The way his beard had scraped roughly against 10k’s clean-shaven face as they kissed. The strength of his hands, the look of fondness in his strange zombie eyes and that tiny, secret smile that leaked out when he didn’t realise that 10k could see. If only 10k could say sorry, let Murphy know that he cared. All bluster aside, he didn’t regret what they had done._

_10k sent a silent apology through the ether, one that would never be heard, as the dead hands grabbed at him and he was surrounded by the corpse stink of the zombies who would shortly tear him to pieces._

_In the distance, dashing from the weeds beside the riverbank, he caught a flash of movement. Two running figures, red and black. He lost sight of them as the zombie dragged him over to the railing, gurgling and gnashing its teeth as it lunged toward him._

_Someone was coming to rescue him. It had been far away, but he imagined that he had seen a whirlwind of red. He imagined that he had heard the cawing of crows amidst the groaning of the zombies._

_Reality was fading. As the throng of zombies arrived and crowded him up against the pillar, 10k dimly saw a sweet, familiar face as it approached him. Swathed in crimson, shrouded in rage._

_The zombie closest to him was driven to the ground with a heavy blow from a carved wooden war club, a weapon 10k knew very well. Red. His imaginary friend, his protector. She took down a second zombie with a hefty swing, and a third was felled by a well-aimed projectile from a slingshot. The ghost of 5k let out a triumphant caw._

_If only this were real, 10k would have been proud to see the kid shoot so well._

_Then they were running. Red’s hand was so warm and human as she gripped 10k’s arm to drag him along, so convincing. “Are you real?” 10k asked, even though he knew this was just the vaccine wearing off. Where was he, really? Unconscious somewhere, or dead already?_

_Her spectre didn’t respond, and 10k was glad that he didn’t have to hear the truth. 5k was the only one who spoke, and 10k was glad that he didn’t understand the language of crows._

_It was better to believe that they were really here, that they were alive, that he was saved._

_Together, they ran in silence. Back to the only reality he had left._

_Back to Murphy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a final chapter to sum this up in the next couple of days. Trying to shoehorn this in among the events of the episode.
> 
> Sorry for the long wait on this one, real life has been very real and I'm still trying to get my head straight.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and please leave a comment to let me know if you're digging this scenario. I may eventually expand to another story in this series if people want to see the continuation of this messed up dynamic into Season 4.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic comes from the song "Conscious" by Broods.
> 
> If you want, come and pester me on twitter at [@frankenberger](https://twitter.com/Frankenberger)  
> I promise I don't bite (unlike Murphy).


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